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I am a mixed person that passes as white in my community. I have white privilege AND I have a Black body. I may seem calm and serene on the outside and I AM that by nature. I am also boiling with a rage and grief that often consumes my Black body. The same rage that boiled inside my mother when I was a child. A rage that I absorbed and inherited that literally creates boils under my arms when not expressed. The same way boils form under my mothers arms when she's stressed. . I may seem quiet and comfortable in silence, and its true I AM that. And I’m using all my energy to soothe the trauma that takes over my Black body. Trauma that flairs up when I have to share in a room of white people. My instinct is to run, to hide but instead I freeze and collapse inside. Tension and constriction surround my chest, throat and jaw. The more I have to say, the more the armour suffocates. . I may seem to be able to keep up with the status quo of whiteness, I owe that to the resiliency and survival abilities of my Blackness. Yet the struggle to keep up with the oppressive systems of our society, results in severe depression and overwhelming anxiety. I often find myself in shutdown, I disappear, I check out, I use my privilege to run. I hide away in nature, and allow myself to be nurtured, in the only place I feel free and allowed to be fully me. I know its a luxury that is actually a necessity, yet inaccessible to so many. . I am learning to forgive and accept my whiteness that I once allowed to dominate and oppress my Blackness. I am learning to process the rage, shame, worthlessness, and grief, rooted so deeply, in racialised, generational, and historical trauma held within all Black bodies. Im ready to reclaim all pieces of me, knowing that my Blackness is a powerful source of divinity. As the systems of white supremacy and capitalism fall down around me, I pray this moment leads to all chains of oppression being released, and that all people everywhere with Black bodies will finally and forever be free. . . . #blacklivesmatter #blackhealing #blackdivinity #radicaldharma solidarity
I grew up in Bermuda as a bi-racial, cisgender woman. I spent much of my life hidden behind protective armour as I learned to conform and use my privilege and calm, quiet demeanor to get by in a patriarchal and racist society, while my inner landscape was in turmoil. Nature, movement, and meditation have been my escape, sanctuary and greatest teachers on my journey through the underworld.
It is an ongoing process to become aware of the ways historical, intergenerational, and personal trauma show up for me, however I consider myself to be a trauma survivor. I have been on my own healing journey and supporting others in accessing their own healing capacity for over ten years through movement, bodywork, self inquiry, and embodiment practices. I still have moments of overwhelm, which is why I am devoted to practices that help me to overcome and grow from the waves of life, and to sharing them with others.
My curiousity in recent years has lead to an exploration of can maintain a sense of ease and knowing, even during intense moments like birth and life as a marginalized person in this world. I learned that whats needed is to gently process past experiences and transform old programmes and limiting beliefs into self love, wholeness, resiliency and creativity. I know from experience that this is possible through working with the nervous system and encouraging womb wellness and pelvic health. I believe that this is where our power can be accessed in order to create a good birth outcome and a life of thrival.
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The tools and wisdom I share are inspired by self practice and trainings in:
SMC FULL CIRCLE DOULA & BIRTH COMPANIONSHIP based on the legacy of the 20th Century African American midwife, and the midwifery model of care through birth and postpartum. SMC principles focus on birth justice, the emotional, physical and spiritual well-being of the whole family and bringing ritual, traditional practices and herbal remedies back into the birth place.
YogaSOMATICs exploring natural movement, breathwork, sounding, restorative stillness and mindfulness practices to unwind, reset the nervous system, create feelings of safety and relaxation and awaken inner resources.
BIRTHING FROM WITHIN DOULA & BIRTH EDUCATOR using science-based knowledge, storytelling, art and writing inquiry, mindfulness and solution focused coaching for emotional and mental preparation to prevent trauma, address fears, reduce stress and anxiety, cope with pain, and access an inner knowing and trust.
EMBODIED TRAUMA-CONSCIOUS REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH how trauma impacts pregnancy, birth and postpartum. Including the impacts of systemic influences on reproductive health outcomes, the emotional and embodied impact of infertility and pregnancy loss and the importance of healthy parent-infant bonding and attachment.
YOGA FOR PELVIC HEALTH breath, movement & anatomy for pelvic rehabilitation and birth preparation.
DYNAMIC NEUROMUSCULAR STABILIZATION using the original breath mechanics and movements we learned naturally as babies during development to stabilise and move from an integrated core and rehabilitate the body.
SOMATIC EXPERIENCING moving towards trauma resolution and resiliency through observing and working with the nervous system and using body-centered practices to integrate the whole being.